It's just a game. | MiyuMayu on Xanga

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As much as I love livejournal, I think it's time for me to move to a new blog. But i won't delete this one. So many memories and entries from years back and I would still update things that I feel on here.

I've made a new blog.. after 6 years in here and here's the link:

http://miyumayu.xanga.com

Yep, xanga :) Hope to see everybody there.


♥
Steph

I miss you. I hope everything's doing great with you. :)
Maybe someday i'll get to talk to you again.
Until then, goodnight ^^

Steph

I stumbled upon an archive of our msn conversations. It took me an hour to read just that one archive. There are 6 or 7 more. I miss you a lot, and I must admit I'm still in love with you. Nobody ever reads my blog, so i'm not afraid to convey my true feelings here. There is nothing wrong about still caring for you, still loving you, right? We don't talk anymore. You blocked me from your life. Again. and again. I don't know why I keep letting you, some people would say I'm a fool. I say I just can't stop thinking about you and what we shared. I was crying all throughout. I don't even need you talking to me to make me cry. It just shows it's me that makes myself cry, not you.

Right about now, you must be enjoying the days you have without me. Don't get me wrong, I am not bitter, I just sometimes wish.. always wish, that I am part of that. Our last phone conversation. I couldn't tell you because that would be crossing the lines... I missed your voice so much. Some people would think I'm a loser for writing this if they ever saw it. When we started talking again, I kept myself from being too sweet, from showing how much I missed you. I told everybody I'm over you, I even went back to my ex to show everybody how much I've moved on. But I feel bad because they were all lies. I just wanted to be free from whatever hold you still have of me. I don't know if you know how much it hurts to pretend that I don't have feelings, and hearing from people that you don't even much care for me as a close friend anymore.

When you got upset again, I just didn't say anything. I was too busy crying, and preparing myself to be kicked out of your life again.

Still, I love you so much. I still won't stop caring for you. I'm still here. I miss you pookie.

Steph

"'Cause if one day you wake up and find that your missing me and your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be... I'm not moving, I'm not moving."

Bad stuff happens. Sometimes it makes no sense at all. Sometimes it's unfair. Sometimes it just plain sucks. Always remember that, but remember that you have to move on, somehow. You just pick your head up and stare at something beautiful ...like the sky, or the ocean, and you move the hell on.

I hope that someday you find an amazing girl. The kind of girl who means everything to you and makes you want to spend every moment of your time with her. The kind of girl who keeps you up at night, just thinking about her beautiful smile, and when you finally fall asleep, she’s all you dream about. I hope she’s the first thing to cross your mind when you wake up in the morning. I hope she changes you in a way you could never understand, yet you know it’s for the better. I hope she’s the kind of girl you would die for. The kind of girl who could make you cry, even though you’d never admit it. The kind of girl who makes you want to go out and do something special, something that means everything to the both of you. The kind of girl you can have silly fights with, then kiss and make up, and hold her in your arms like you’re falling in love all over again. I hope you make memories with her you never forget. I hope she’s your world, and what you have with her is nothing less than perfection. And I hope that one day, you lose her. I hope you mess up and as hard as you try to keep her there with you, she slips through the cracks of your broken heart. I hope it destroys you, because you realize you’ve lose the person you once called your everything. I hope you see every moment spent together spin away down the drain like it was waiting to happen. I hope you stay up all night because she’s on your mind and when you fall asleep, she haunts your dreams. I hope her beautiful smile stays pressed in your mind like a scar that won’t fade away. I hope you realize that you’re a new person because of her, I hope your new self feels incomplete without her and you miss the old you, the one that was okay with being alone. Because you’d rather be the heartbreaker than the heartbroken.

This is the last time you're gonna make me cry.
I will think of you as just another person in my life.
They come and go.

I'm still me, and I'm not changing for you.
Or try to be perfect with you.
I'm real.

So happy. Yes =)

I'm so bored. :]

Looking back.


you will always be inside my heart
you will always have your own place
I hope that I have a place in your heart too
now and forever you are still the one
it's still a sad song
until I can sing a new song

you are always gonna be my love
even if I fall in love with someone once again


♥ For you, you know who you are.

I donated blood and the phlebotomist made my blood shower all over my arm the moment she pushed the needle in. That was the first time it ever happened.


And she said "Good thing I didn't get any on your shirt"

haha

Saw a Perseid last night :]!
And also, blood drive tomorrow. Remind remind.

And I'm gonna miss you
Like a child misses that blanket
But I gotta get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry. :]


Schools starts in less than a month. Yay! more things to do!

Miley Cyrus sings it.
If anybody knows a person who made a cover of this song, please tell me. :]

Being hurt doesn't always mean it's a bad thing. It just means you loved sincerely. And I did. I don't regret anything anymore, even us not being friends or having no communication.

In the end, it's more than okay for me to be able to understand that I went through that pain because I loved with all that I can, and to the best I know of how to love a person.

I'm happy. ♥

@ my school website... It's currently down and I can't register for my classes. I hope they are not full... I've been not sleeping for 2 days just to try and see if it'll go up anytime soon.. but no. So i'm stressed, but everything will be okay and I would be able to register for my classes for this Fall 09 soon... hopefully. *crosses fingers*

Excited about tomorrow!~ Spend some time with Francis. I'm still a bit worried about certain things I shouldn't be worried about in our relationship but the past week has been wonderful so far. I'm hoping it's going to stay that way. It was funny when him and my mom and my brother were talking on yahoo conference and I had to translate tagalog to english and english to tagalog and vice versa. Guess that's how you "meet" parents when you are long distance. Hoping to take him with me sometime when they are online and just webcam with him for my mom and bro. I am also extremelyyyyyyyy happy because my grandpa would be helping me finalize the separation papers for my mom and dad, so I don't have to worry about that anymore.

In another good term, my friend Justin will be coming to visit me in California for a week this October and I am reaaaaallly reaaaallly excited! We are going to all the Halloween events on the theme parks.. And I can't wait for him to see Disneyland! Eventhough I've been to these places numerous times before, I'm still upbeat about seeing everything for the millionth time again. I am such a kid at heart. Also, I might meet 2 people I play with online. Mizu (Stephanie) and Hae (Johnny) and we're all planning to hang together once Justin gets here. Hopefully, that'll go through as well.

Gaming has been good although now I will be having less time for RO and other mmo's. Still waiting on diablo 3, but before then, I'd swing by my uncle's place and borrow his ps3. Which will feed my addiction for a few weeks until I feel like I need to get addicted to something again.

Have I ever said I tried 10 games.. yes, I counted.. in the span of 5 months just to get my mind off things? And they all extremely sucked. Even WoW sucks now cuz of their new "we are gonna make everything easy for n00bs" patch. Yeah, I'm frustrated.

Still! everything is going in the right direction now, and I can actually say I'm happy enough to smile. For real. <3


Just bored, so i'm updating. So... laters ♥

EDIT:
Uhh I reread my blog and it sounded like me and Francis were long distance, but noope. I meant my mom is in the PI and he's here with me. Lol

I should probably re edit some of the stuff in my info on my journal... up top. And start writing again with non emo entries. Yay!
It's been so hot here lately... especially in my room. We try to save much energy so we don't usually turn the AC on. The other rooms and the living room is actually cool in temperature but my room... not so much. Cuz it's small and I have a bunch of electronics always turned on 24/7 that generates heat. Like my computer and my mini fridge.


But I'll sacrifice the cold temperatures for this. I stuck out with it for a month or two, now I just need to wait for my favorite season:

WINTER. ♥

MIYU SAYS HI ♥♥♥

Since the server I play on doesn't have stat/skills reset NPCs, I calculated my build.

First off, equipment. For anubis/TU levelling in Sphinx F4.

Head (Upper) - Bunny band ~ +2 LUK

Head (Mid) - Dunno ??? (Btw, no more slotted sunnies or I would've put erudite (elder willow) sunglasses))

Head (Lower) - Romantic Leaf!

R hand - Arc Wand[2] [+3 INT, +15% MATK (??)] with 2 drops card [+2 DEX]. Double Dexterous Arc Wand.

L hand - Buckler[1] with Thara Frog Card [Decreases damage done by demi human monsters by 30%]. Cranial Buckler

Body[Armor] - Orlean's Uniform[1] (Casting uninterruptable, increase cast time by 15%, better than phen card) with HOPEFULLY:
A) Ghostring card ~ Enchants armor with ghost property or for the meantime... Ghost Orlean's Uniform
B) Pest card ~ 9% chance (INT >=77) of casting stone curse on enemy if hit. Orlean's Uniform of Stone Curse

Robe - Muffler[1] with Raydric card [Neutral attacks -20%]. Immune muffler.

Shoes - Shoes[1] with Sohee Card [Max SP + 15%, SP recovery + 3%] Soul - Enchanted Shoes.

Accessories - 2 Glove[DEX + 1 each] with 2 Zerom card [+3 DEX each] Nimble Gloves.



My equip will give off in total.. +2LUK, +3INT, +10 DEX

I really want the Berzebub card, decreases cast time by 30% but that's not happening anytime soon. =P
Also... how much difference does a +4 -> +7 equip make? If anyone knows. I'm tired of breaking stuff because of upgrades.



Off to STATS: These are the stats CONSIDERING I hit 99/70, which is base level max and job level max. I used a stat calculator for this. And i'm posting the screenshots.

Consider BLESSING 10, GLORIA, INCREASE AGI 10 and all of my equip additions.



             

Final Addition of stats with the equipment would be...

STR - 1 + 17 (from BLESSING = 18
AGI - 2 (extra stat points) + 20  (from AGI UP) = 22
VIT - 63 + 7 = 70
INT - 85 + 25 (22 + 2 INT from arc wand) = 110
DEX 86 + 29 (19 + 10 from Nimble gloves and 2 drops card)  = 115 (Good cast time)
LUK 25 + 32 (GLORIA + bunny band) = 57

Shows anubis as the TU levelling spot, my status change resistances (VIT rooocks), max weight, etc.

9038 HP, 2199 SP, 2352 Heal if I have level 6 meditatio.


Which reminds me, I have to do my skill tree next. =P I'll post it tomorrow. But I already did it earlier, just wasn't sure what to get first.



To anybody who have played, critique, suggestions, are welcome. I don't max out my INT and DEX even if I am a support priestess because I always thought it was useless to waste your points on just that. =P